Judi's Links to Live by...

I'm over 50 and I've just booked my first ever mammogram test.  I should have done that years ago; after all, my mother had breast cancer at my age.  I'm happy to say though, that she is a 25+ year survivor!  I find that life gets more and more precious with each advancing year and I'm becoming holistically proactive with my own health.  Here are some of my beliefs and practices  that contribute to both my actual and my perceived sense of well-being:

• An age-specific multi-vitamin.  Specially designed for adults over 50, it contains extra amounts of minerals - particularly those vital to our immune systems - that our bodies do not have in adequate amounts as we age. 
• A Calcium plus vitamin D supplement. I want to entirely thwart the threat of osteoporosis.   
• Daily weight-bearing activities to stregthen bones, like bike riding and yes - even housework!
• A liquid Glucosamine Chondroitin supplement - this is supposed to be the "lube, oil, and filter" of the joints.
• Aerobic exercise - I'm an "endorphin-junkie."  I crave the natural high that I get from being outside and active.  (Disclaimer - I can be as lazy as a sloth at times but not for too long before my head too, feels sluggish.)
• I eat well - avoiding most processed foods, watching salt intake, additives and fat.
• Doing and learning new things.  It's important for me to keep my mind strong and nimble - use it or lose it!  I read good books, I DON'T WATCH TV

  and I listen to new music all of the time - a brisk walk listening to Vivaldi gives me crystaline clarity and focus.  As I have elsewhere posted, "whenever I go out walking with a problem, I invariably return with a solution."

• Being lenient with myself.  I give myself permission to discard my "rulebook" at will; after all, it's life I'm talking about not military service!
• Meditate.  Just breathe!  I take a few moments every day and concentrate only on my breathing.  I concentrate on peace, grace and thankfulness.
• Experience what it is to be someone's hero by giving your time to a child.  My favourite way is by reading to them.  We may take reading for granted but when you open a book with a small child, you are giving the gift of a foreign, exotic world to a hungry, impressionable mind.

Judi's Links to Live by:  ( for each link, right click and select "open in a new window") 

• Reducing the Risk of Breast Cancer Project -   This site is of immediate, relevant interest to Toronto area residents as it examines environmental breast cancer factors and risks specific to that region.
• How To Practice Buddhist Breathing Meditation - a step-by-step video teaching you the steps of meditation
• Effect of Classical Music on the Brain - I can personally attest to the claim in this article that, "Through generating a sequence of different emotions, listening to certain music can give a different base to your thoughts, words, and actions. It will intensify enjoyment and alleviation, encourage the crestfallen spirits, and assuage the turbulent ones. Depending from the listener and the music, this effect will last for how long you want it to last."
• The World's Healthiest Foods List
• Reading Is Fundamental - A comprehensive resource for parents commited to literacy.
• Turn Off Your Tv Dot Calm

                    To our health!

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On Balance and Boundaries...

Most moms gathering in this forum are amazing, multi-talented mini-dynamos –

magnetic mavens who are often approached by others to mentor and share their talents and expertise.  You know who you are!  Your homes are vibrant centres that reflect the creativity and exuberant love of a woman who lives consciously and emphatically – “con gusto” to use a musical term.  From life’s electric energy you recharge yourself for the constant draw upon your seemingly boundless resources of joy, love and giving.

That’s wonderful if you can go to bed at night with a smile of peace.  That means that you are most likely enjoying a state of grace called “balance.”  In that state you enjoy a return on the investment in your families, homes and work for the boundless personal energies that you expend.  If, on the other hand, you go to bed feeling empty and depleted, that might very well mean that you have a one-sided relationship with life that’s in need of a “market correction.” 

Some of us suffer from what author, Harriet B. Braiker, calls “The Disease to Please.”  That’s called “co-dependence” girlfriends.  It’s unhealthy and toxic.  It can consume you to the point of swallowing your identity and your life.  It occurs when you take a good thing – pleasing people - and run it to the “nth” degree.  So caught up can you get in pleasing your plethora of “peeps” that you neglect yourself.  So accustomed do these same peeps become to receiving your selfless administrations that they take them for granted. 

At that point you are feeling like you’ve left the birthday party without your “loot bag” or that you got your spelling test “A” without your gold star.  A co-dependent’s motivation is to fill emotional voids – typically of love and self-esteem; the modus operandi; in all fairness, usually subconscious rather than overt, is to obligate the other party to supply their deficiency by tipping the scales of give-and-take in their favour.    

The antidote for toxic love is the adoption of healthy personal boundaries.  For tips on setting healthy personal boundaries in your life, click HERE!

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Play First...Work Later!

Have you ever seen the way a child’s face transforms when he or she conceives an idea for play? They light up from within and their whole being is instantly animated as they share what they will be , what each friend’s role will be, what the aim of the tableaux is, the heroes, the villains, the obstacles to overcome, villains to vanquish etc. etc.

The value of play is well recognized, documented and recommended by modern pedagogues.

Play fosters Leadership, Creativity and Problem Solving.

Play encourages Cooperation, Team Work and Healthy Socialization.

Play is FUN, RELAXING and ENERGIZING.

Do you ever look for childhood’s influence in the grown-up world?

One lovely spring day I roller bladed across the Toronto waterfront trail – a shear, exhilarating experience that evoked the simple and total childlike pleasure of exuberant motion! When I got tired I put on my shoes and continued walking.

There are two views along the Toronto beach-side trail – the lake on one side and a condominium city – a panoramic expanse of geometric architecture on the other side. Looking at the two, I had a sudden vision that amused me. I felt like I was seeing a grown-up’s vision of a child’s seascape where sandcastles hold back the mightiest tides, and indeed, many of the condominium designs featured turrets, terraces and gardens – all features I can remember using to embellish the sandcastles of my childhood.

At that point I began concentrating more closely on the designs of these condos. I framed them between my thumbs and index fingers. I imagined them being assembled like mega-blocks from a 3 year old’s toy box. Then, as I gazed at this urban skyline, I started turning an imaginary dial with my right hand and remembered the fun of using that simple but timeless and still popular toy – the Etch-a-sketch. I’m sure that the designers of those buildings share similar memories. 

Perhaps more than anything, a playful childhood is what creates creative, successful adults. This is a good argument is support of the “deprogramming school of thought.” The opinion held by some parents, educators and psychologists that our children have become too busy with lessons and organized activities.

Never underestimate the value of unstructured play time – both for your children and for your playful child within!

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Because the Nose Knows!

I often end up sewing my own curtains.  I enjoy hunting for the design, colour and fabric that says “yes” to me.  If I’m tackling a decorating project from “square one,”  I like to begin with a small detail – an object, a colour or a fabric that hits me with immediate resonance and inspires me to build around it.  When I take hold of such an image – or more accurately, when that image takes hold of me – I know that I am following my nose; it’s an instinct in which I’ve come to have great faith – my inner GPS.  

The same principle holds true for shopping.  I shop in 1 of 2 different ways; I either plan my wardrobe requirements around a season or an event or more often than not, I come home with a scarf, necklace or pair of shoes that shouted to me, “Hey! You can’t leave this store without ME!”  My system works like a charm.  Blind intuition has stocked my drawers and closets with an array of mix and match clothes and accessories that make it fairly easy to put together something a bit “new” when need be.

A lot more is at stake here than window treatments and fashion accessories!  My earlier, “unenlightened” life found me in a bad marriage and the wrong career because I heeded the voices of others.  It was a painful experience for me out of which I’ve grown, learned and moved on. 

I learned that an ill-fitting shoe can blister your “sole,”

but an ill-fitting life will blister your “soul!”

Most of life’s regrets can be avoided if you commit to yourself by following your nose:

Ø  Make friends with people who make you feel good

Ø  Pursue your own dreams

Ø  Trust in your own judgement

Ø  Listen to your heart

Practice these things faithfully and you will meet your destiny with peace, happiness and success!

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"Copy and Paste" - The Road to Perdition...

"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all!" ...Grandma Martin  and many other people... 

Those are good words to live by and I try to abide by simple, basic rules.  Here's a spin on that old adage - "If you don't have anything original to say or write, make sure you credit your sources!"

I plagiarized once.  I left a grade 12 geography essay to the last minute.  Working with only 1 or 2 references, I "borrowed heavily" for a few paragraphs.  Sure enough, the essay was returned with a red circle accompanied by the comment, "I think you may not have used your own words here."   That my teacher had actually cited an original part of my essay didn't matter to me; I knew that I had cheated elsewhere.  Rather than heap "hypocrite" on top of "plagiarizer", I made no comment.  I can still feel the remorse I experienced on that occasion and I've not been tempted to opt for an expedient route since.

Thanks to the Internet, plagiarism is more rampant than the common cold.  Thousands of websites pander to intellectual parasites. 

Sites like The Essay Directory (right click and select "open in a new window)

That's like child porn - something that decent people don't tolerate!

I would like to think that the majority of this stuff gets caught.   Checks and balances also abound on the Internet with sites like;

The source of my little rant is 2 experiences I had in the past year - 1 last fall and 1 yesterday.  The first was from a speaker I have some personal acquaintance with.   She delivered a speech for a humorous speech contest.  Formerly unimpressed with her style, I had to congratulate her effusively on a performance that had definitely been kicked up by several notches.  I made a point of conveying my delight in hearing such a compelling and entertaining speech.   A week or two later, I watched a YouTube video forwarded by a friend through email.  It featured a stand-up comic delivering very nearly the exact speech with which my acquaintance had won her contest!  I was dumb-founded, shocked, incredulous, crestfallen, angry, affronted and dumb-founded (again!) (right click this and select "open in another window" to see how I really felt!)

I'm over that one... 

                                    

After all, the insult was perceived by me but not directed at me.  Yesterday's incident had significant  differences.  The principal involved was a random contact from a dating web site I had just signed up with (and have now left!)   After seeing my profile - or perhaps only my photo and highlights - he sent me a message with a tasteful measure of flattery and a heavier dose of rhetoric on topics he'd obviously gleaned were of interest to me.  I was impressed but hesitant to use the telephone number he had shared in his email.  I re-read his words this morning.  They were good, but - you guessed it - a little TOO good...

I selected a few very unique constructions and pasted them into my Google search line and sure enough it returned an immediate "hit."  It turned out that I had nearly begun a discussion not with "x" from whoville but with  Kierkegaard from beyond!  That drove me to something I am loathe to employ - bold, red capitals!  I was REALLY PISSED OFF!  I sent a brief reply, including the link with his unquoted text, told him that I wouldn't be needing his phone number and I cancelled my account!

At this juncture I have an important decision to make - wine or meditation!!  A penny for Y-O-U-R thoughts???

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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Re: Skip the Meds...

                                                                                       

A case in point...

I skated an epic roller blade in Hamilton the other day.  On my last lap I stopped along the trail at "Baranga's on the Beach" for an amazing Greek salad and a tall, refreshing soda - anything more in that heat would have invited disaster on roller blades!  A solitary diner, I sat at the patio's edge, smugly comfortable among the groups of chatting business lunchers and day-trippers.  I was euphoric in fact, after logging 40 exhilarating kilometres on my skates.  The sun was still high and scorching but I did not fight it.  I met it joyfully but with compromise and respect!  Every 8 kilometres or so along the trail, to the surprise of anyone standing nearby, I rested briefly and conducted a ritual self-baptism to keep cool.  Filling up my water bottle with fresh cold water I poured it over my head, neck, shoulders and body - a mini version of a daily water dousing ritual practiced by many eastern Europeans and martial arts practioners. 

When I stopped for lunch I was nevertheless hot and depleted; anxious therefore, to compose and recharge before completing the last 6 kilometers of my skate.  I took off my skates and socks stretched my legs and arms and relaxed all muscles.  I turned my face towards the lake and let my eyes feast freely on the hazy horizon of the distant shore.  I experienced perfect peace...

The view was incredibly beautiful - an expanse of blue water, sandy beach and a vague, distant skyline in front of which, in the haze and smog, looked like a ridge of low purply mountains.  Knowledge, a priori, informed me that I was in Hamilton, Ontario but a capricious muse convinced me that I was on the Bulgarian Back Sea Riviera.  By view alone I could have been in any one of a dozen or more exotic locales.   That was a very comforting and peaceful thought; it banished any wish to be other than where I was at that precise moment - it fixed me joyfully and satisfied in the present.  Of course my muse prodded my imagination to transcend the present.  While I continued to drink in the distant skyline, the idea of a globally generic scene started to populate my mind with a curious character named George; a legend in his own mind, a mediocre sales type - bored with his own existence who fabricated other personas with whomto interact with others on a larger than his own life scale.  George's exploits kept me amused and entertained for some time.  He is a very captivating character with whom I may one day further acquaint you.

Quiet my inner voices?? Not any time soon!

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Skip the meds!

 

Not too long ago I blogged about personal growth and self-help books.  I've been giving them more than a casual nod recently and have enthusiastically followed some of their suggestions - like meditating, clearing space in the mind and inviting "consciousness" - a "graceful" state of being.  It's been a few weeks now - and I'm getting ANTSY!  Peace and grace may be normal for Tibetan monks but they're pretty darned alien compared to anything that I'm accustomed to.  While I'm all for momentary tranquility trips when reeling from one of life's traumas, I don't crave the pallid panacea of the prozac plane that is the ultimate destination of these recommended paths.  "Nice" is ... nice; but have you ever thought about what it would be like for an eternity?  It would be H - E - L - L!!  Arghhhhh!  It would be like being at a bridal shower for the rest of your life!! 

And what about "quieting the inner voices" and being in the present?  I think that that should be left to choice and discretion.  Admitedly, sometimes those voices get in the way of getting the job done but  I, myself, have a particular fondness for those voices.  They inform me, they amuse me, and they challenge me.  They speak of possibilities and show me different ways of viewing things - visions of all kinds that make of an otherwise dull existence a world of wonders!   One thing that I can happily carry away from my self-help reading is the key to recognizing negative internal chatter and being able to silence it, but I would no more wish to clear the room of all of the other wonderful voices that populate my mind and entertain me than I would to turn my back on my best friend.  Like another blogger recently admonished, "be drunken!"

If it is peace that I seek, it is of an "end of the day," "put your head on the pillow and sleep" variety not a cloud-9, 24/7, vacuous construction or evasion of life that's equivalent to flat-lining.  My highs and lows tell me that I am alive and living emphatically. My inner voices conjure up brilliant inner images when the outer ones are just too damned inane to acknowledge.

I'm returning my library books - on time, and continuing with my latest read, "East of Eden!" 

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